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[Kate]

[Kate]

[Kate]

Quote:A Glimpse of the Future
From page 7 of the Daily News 3rd Feb 2024:

Acting on instruction from the Dept of Making Life a Shit As Possible, the Medicines and Healthcare products Regulatory Agency today announced proposals to classify sex toys as medicinal devices. The move was outlined in document GTF-1984 - Removing The Very Last Vestige of Fun From the British Public.

According to the MHRA, there is overwhelming anecdotal supposition to back up their belief that popular devices such as the Rampant Rabbit and Lucious Lucy are medicinal devices. "Sexual intercourse between consenting adults carries with it the risk of a number of serious conditions including herpes, chlamydia and carpet burn. As sex toys can be used as an alternative to engaging in sexual relations with another person those risks could potentially be negated and so it stands to reason that they must be classed as therapeutic treatments and thus subject to our draconian regulatory oversight".

According to a spokesperson at the Agency "the fact that there are no recorded instances of anyone ever actually coming to harm through using one of these devices is irrelevent. The undeniable fact is it might happen. Furthermore, children could easily be attracted to the bright colours and soft textures often used in their manufacture."

The Agency has stressed that they are only making a proposal at this stage. "We have clearly listed three possible options for consideration and, whilst we've already decided which one we're going with, we have given all interested parties until lunchtime on Wednesday to make their bleating and futile objections" annnounced Gruppenführer Pharmashagger, the Agency's chief executive.

When pressed on whether the tight timescales might lead to a serious disruption of supply, Gruppenführer Pharmashagger responded "clearly there are tough challenges ahead. However, It's well within the capabilities of the pharmaceutical industry to take this opportunity for yet more ridiculous profit. Obviously, they will have to work very hard to come up with products that satisfy our three mandatory requirements of being obscenely expensive, totally impractical and largely ineffective. However, it's what they do best and we have every confidence they will respond positively to this challenge".

GTF-1984 is the latest in a line of controversial initiatives by the Agency. It comes only months after the classification of chocolate as an antidepressant which might have caused a public outcry had it's release not coincided with the quarter finals of X-Factor.

http://ukvapers.com/showthread.php?p=8637#post8637

[Kate]

[Kate]

This is great, thanks to Taking Liberties for highlighting the story.

Quote:100-year-old woman says drink and cigarettes keep her young


A woman who toasted her 100th birthday today with a cigarette and a tot of whisky said she would also be raising a glass to 70 years as a committed smoker and drinker.





Lorna Gobey smoked her first cigarette in 1940 – the same year the country was blitzed during the Battle of Britain.

The retired cinema-usher, who smokes 20 Sterling Superkings Blue a day, has gone through over half-a-million cigarettes since then.

The great grandmother of 55 – who also has 27 grandchildren and 12 great-great grandchildren – danced the night away at her local Labour Club on Monday, where she enjoyed her favourite tipple – a whiskey Guinness chaser.

Mrs Govey attributes her longevity to her fun-loving lifestyle and said her family ''wouldn't dare'' tell her to stop smoking.

Speaking from her home in Cheltenham, Gloucestershire, yesterday, she said: ''I've been smoking since I was 30 and have had no problems at all.

''People try and tell you it's bad for you but my family wouldn't dare ask me to stop. If they did, I'd put them across my lap and give them a slapped bum.

''I've always tried to enjoy life. I think it's important to do the things you want to do and not to let things get you down.

''I like my smokes, a drop of whiskey and Guinness and I still love to play skittles. Perhaps it's part of the reason I have lived for so long. I never thought I'd make it to 100, but I have. I'm quite amazed really.''

Mrs Gobey was born in Apperly, near Tewkesbury, Gloucestershire, in 1910, before moving to nearby Cheltenham where she has lived ever since.

She had a variety of jobs including cleaning, cooking and working as an usher at the Goldmont cinema – later renamed the Odeon, where she started smoking aged 30.

She has lived through two world wars, three husbands and countless governments, and carried on riding a motorcycle until she was well into her 70s.

But Mrs Gobey is showing no signs of slowing down.

She said: ''I'm going to carry on for as long as I can. I'm captain of my skittles team and I want to continue playing.

''My lifestyle hasn't done me any harm so far. You could say I haven't followed the rule book, but I'm not about to change now.''

Her son Bob Fisher, 66, said: ''She smokes faster than the rest of us and still loves a drink. She loves bingo, playing a tune on the mouth organ and riding around town in cars.''

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopi...young.html

[Kate]

Lolli has a way with words:

Quote:Oh PLEASE Mr Government, don't ban our e cigs now
The reasons you are giving are all nonsense anyhow!

We interfere with no one! Want our freedom, just to vape
We're not polluting anywhere! That fact you can't escape!

It's just a little metal tube, with cartridge at the end
The liquid we put into it, we strongly do defend!

It's nicotine, PG, VG and flavouring (a lot!)
They're all in use elsewhere you know! You must've lost the plot!

It doesn't give us cancer or any smoke disease
So burdens on your N H S, it will surely ease?

It helps to stop us smoking the tobacco cigarette
Where other stuff has failed us! - like "Inhaler Nicorette"

Tobacco firms have loads of dosh! The Pharm' boys have lots too!
But, putting us at risk for them? - It simply will not do!!!

Four thousand noxious substances in cigarettes on sale!
Fine, for those that choose them, "the tobacco coffin nail"

We live in a Democracy! We want our right to choose!
So, if our e cigs stay on sale, then nobody will loose!

So, PLEASE Mr Government, let our e cigs stay...
ON SALE - or - we'll smoke again! You leave no other way!

http://allaboute-cigarettes.proboards.co...age=1#5650

[Kate]

[Kate]

Quote:Smokers are Thick, Anti-Smokers Have Higher IQs

A recent survey in Israel found that smokers are all thickies.

What the survey failed to point out is that public health campaigners, on the other hand, have a much higher level of intelligence – more than even respected scientists of the past.

So much so, in fact, that they do not need nearly the same amount of evidence to get to the truth as esteemed scientists of the past did.

For example, the British Doctors’ Study followed 35,000 doctors for several years (they actually contacted every doctor in the country) before concluding that smoking lead to lung cancer.

The third hand smoke theory, on the other hand, was proven beyond doubt by a telephone survey of the opinions of 1500 people (http://junkfoodscience.blogspot.com/2009...ails.html) and by spraying tobacco residue with acid to find carcinongens.

Thank God science has become so much easier and we don’t have to bother with all those long studies any more.

(I believe most of the scientists were smokers at the time, which probably slowed them down enough to poll 35,000 people when obviously a few quick telephone calls would have done the trick.)

We have already been able to come to some new conclusions using their methodology.

For example, in our survey of public health campaigners we asked them if they felt they were right and anti-smokers were wrong. The astonishing survey results revealed that public health campaigners are 100% more right than smoker’s rights activists – further evidence in support of third hand smoke.

Right, I am off now to find some electronic cigarette retailers, and ask them whether they think electronic cigarettes are safe. I am sure that will conclusively prove my case!

http://www.ecigarettedirect.co.uk/ashtra...r-iqs.html

[Kate]

Quote:... We smokers have attempted compromise at every turn. We have not demanded all the pubs back, we have asked for some. We have asked for private smoker's clubs, staffed by smokers, but have been refused. The ban is total. No compromise at all. And we are called 'selfish'.

We are also called many other names, any of which, if applied to one of the government's pet groups, would get the name-caller arrested. We smokers are expected to shut up and get out of the way because we are inferior.

I say 'enough'.

The antismokers don't want any form of compromise at all. Okay, that's how they want it. We will not compromise. We must now demand every pub, every restaurant, every bus and every train, every last space available as a smoking area. The application of a 'No Smoking' sign in any premises must be treated as if it was a 'No Jews' sign.


... We have weapons. We have second hand and third hand smoke, and now we have the Smoker Breath of Death. Yes, the idiots believe it. All we have to do is exhale at them and we don't even have to be smoking. Make use of those weapons, don't be shy, you and I know they are totally harmless but our enemy believes in them.

I've been considering how best to get the message across to the local chavs. Arguing with them won't work. They are deeply indoctrinated. Something simple, snappy and to the point. So here are a few prototypes.

http://underdogsbiteupwards.blogspot.com...-then.html